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New Action Set Now Ready for Mass Consumption

March 3, 2009


Okay, I’m fully aware of the popularity of the Photoshop action set, so I’ve decided to jump on board, rather than get run over, and create my own brand of powerful yet simple image controls.

With the press of a button, you too can add layer upon layer of creative solution to your images. Have to shoot in bad light? Doesn’t matter. Arrived late to a job? Relax. Have a travel assignment, but are fearful of flying? Chill.

Doctor Milnor is on call with his emergency, quick reaction, strike force, Delta, scene fabrication magic command, action set.

Now, if you were paying attention, several months ago I launched the first of these actions, the now popular, “Uncle Filter,” which at the press of button allows anyone to instantly add any uncle, yours or mine, to any image. No need to travel. Family reunions, forget it, no longer required.

So, after the massive success of my first action, I’ve decided to tease the entire world with action number two: “Fish Bowl Fantasy.”

How often have you looked an image, say one of 20,000 you just shot on a fifteen minute portrait shoot and said to yourself, “You know what would make that better?” “A fish bowl.” “If I had an aquarium in the foreground, this baby would SING!”

Well, WHAMMMMY, here it is.

So,these images on the wall, fine, okay, whatever, but add the “Fish Bowl Fantasy” and you are in serious danger of literally bursting into flames.

I had to barricade myself in the car after showing the first client. My advice, hire security before you unleash this on an unsuspecting photo associate.

This filter transcends all genres of photography. This filter is photography.

My super-secret team of scientists are deep in their bunker studying ROI models to determine where to cap sales. Right now I’m thinking 20 billion will be where we cut this off, so get in on the action now! Get it, action… get it….okay I’ll shut up.

If in doubt, “Fish Bowl Fantasy” that baby.

AND BEFORE I GET BOMBARDED BY HATE MAIL, LIKE LAST TIME, RELAX, THIS FILTER IS NOT REAL. THIS IS A PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT HUMOR IN A SUPER SERIOUS WORLD. COPYRIGHT MILNOR PICTURES. PATENT PENDING. NOT VALID IN NARNIA.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. sarah permalink
    March 4, 2009 8:15 am

    this post is both funny and awesome. more like this, please!

  2. Anonymous permalink
    March 6, 2009 8:53 pm

    I’d like to get the action that tilts, dreamify’s, and give me my focus back … and I’ll take a billion, cuz I know just where to sell them …

    robert

  3. Anonymous permalink
    March 6, 2009 9:43 pm

    when are you coming out with the Unicorn and radial glow action???

  4. Anonymous permalink
    March 7, 2009 1:11 am

    Robert, might want to get 2 billion.

    Unicorn filter is in R&D phase.

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